Nov 11, 2014

"want to/am not/will." : a poem from Carlo's heart to mine.

Want to slay your dragons.

Want to swing by drapes into your castle window, crown you queen and all hail the king, magic ceremonies in faerie woods, Arthur and Guinevere, rinse, repeat.
Am not getting a degree in dragon slaying, or drape swinging, or even the bare essentials of kingdom management.

I am no soldier. I am no king.

But I will fight for you. Will fight with you.


Want to memorize the Bible cover to cover.

Want to preach like angels’ lightning visage, split the tombs in half, I’ll give an altar call and Napoleon and John F. Kennedy come rushing forward, let’s meet the Lord in the air amen.

Am not so bold, and neither so disciplined, when the Sword of the Spirit falls to knight me, no—but to cleave me through, spirit and soul, I am one beautifully broken whole.

I am no desert father. I am no Baptist John.

But I will grow. And grow. And grow.


Want to serenade you with perpetual songs.

Want to sing beneath your balcony like Shakespeare in love, a different ballad every night, a striking metaphor in every line. I’ll never blink looking into your eyes, I’ll never turn, or run, or hide, 24 hours day and night, I speak to you within your dreams. There we run through Elysian fields; Time delays. The moon is sullen. He bows before the brightness of my love…

But I am a man. I traverse not the hills of dreams, nor command the choruses of fleeting dreamers.

I fall short. I am no god.

But I know him who slays the dragons, and I am his son besides. I know him who is the Word, and through me his tales he writes. I know the God of whom angels sing—night and day, they behold his face—and in your heart and in your life, I fear to dare to take his place.


Want to be more like Jesus.

Am not there yet.

Will be.

-CV, Valentine's 2014.

Note: My man wrote this as his Valentine's Day gift for me this year. As my bio says, Kimchi Taco is a writer, preacher, and amazing drummer. He is currently finishing his M.Div at Asia Pacific Theological Seminary and I'm stealing his last name two days after he graduates in March.

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